A Cry in the Dark

Monday, October 01, 2007

hit right between the eyes with a blind spot....

You know.... I really want to think that Sir and my parents are having conversations behind my back. That’s the easiest way to explain why they all keep saying the exact same things to me lately.

Of course, it couldn’t be because I have this big blind spot, could it?

*sigh*

OK. I have no choice but admit to it. It’s one of those things I was alluding to when I said saying, “Yes, Sir” and embracing something are quite different. He’s been getting quite a bit of that “Yes, Sir” lately. And I really have meant it! I wouldn’t go against His specific instructions on things, but I have been chomping at the bit to be released from some of the restrictions. Now I am having to learn to embrace those limits. To accept the fact that I am NOT superwoman, no matter how hard I have tried to convince myself (and others) that I am.

I read something today In the Valley of DevNovo that really resonated with me. It’s a reason, not an excuse. That statement just hit me between the eyes. I’ve been ignoring this blind spot of mine because it felt like I was using it as an excuse. I hate excuses for not doing things that need to be done. And I especially hate it when I see myself doing it. Yes, like most people, I take a day here and there and DON’T do the things I know I need to do. And I tell myself that we all need a lazy day in order to recharge the ole batteries. It took me a long time to truly embrace the reality of that statement and accept that it isn’t an excuse.

When Sir and I were talking about this topic yesterday, I was trying to make a joke about it. You know.... Trying to minimize all this and convince myself that things would just go back to normal tomorrow. He kind of looked at me and said, “You really do have a blind spot about all of this, don’t you? Maybe that’s why your parents keep saying the same things I am?”

For today, I am going to try to embrace my inabilities as reasons, not excuses. For today, I am going to work on NOT freaking out about what I’m not getting done. For today, I am going to try to look at ONLY today.

Now, if I can just remember this whole mantra tomorrow....

Posted by WistfulWench :: 2:46 PM :: 5 comments