A Cry in the Dark

Sunday, July 30, 2006

a question on thongs....

You have to promise to NOT laugh at me for this one! Yes, this is a serious question....

I bought my first thong underwear set a couple of months ago. While it IS just underwear, it’s also a bit, ummmm, shall I say sensual? Maybe it’s the fit or lack of material, but I find it a bit difficult to not feel a bit “charged” when I’m wearing them.

Does anyone else get that feeling? Or am I too self-conscious when I have them on?

Posted by WistfulWench :: 12:52 PM :: 12 comments

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Thursday, July 27, 2006

where did the week go?

Man! I can't believe it's already Thursday!

This week has been crazy and I just don't know where the time has gone. I'll give a quick update of what has happened and then try to get back to a more regular posting schedule over the weekend.

I didn't get the job in NC. Yes, I'm very disappointed about that. The whole job situation is complex and I know I really need to spend some time thinking about what I want and need to do. Maybe some time will be available to do that within the next couple of weeks!

Classes started yesterday. I now know that the first week of class is a nightmare if you don't have that first day off from work. There is a TON of reading to get through in the first module and the lecture is tonight. Oh, well! Maybe it will be a slow day at work and I can take some time to complete the reading assignment.

Dad's eyesight has gotten worse and that's bothered me since I got home. I'm doing my best to deal with the guilt feelings that come up every time I see my folks. I am NOT a bad daughter because I don't want to move back there to be closer to them. Neither of my parents expects me to. But I think of how tired and stressed Mom is and I feel guilty. If I were there, she would at least get a break on a regular basis. We've talked about this and they want me to live my own life. Why do I feel so horrible when I leave, then?

Something big is going on at work. All the senior management was in closed door meetings yesterday with corporate people. Those meetings continue today. And no one is talking about what is going on. I know it has something to do with our systems integration based on a couple of comments. Wonder if it also means that people will be laid off? *sigh* I'm not going to let that be a worry right now! Too many things on my plate for that....

Anyway.... A lot of thoughts flying around in my head, but I just haven't had the time to organize them and write them down. Hopefully this weekend will be fairly quiet and I can get some things down on paper.

Posted by WistfulWench :: 3:44 AM :: 2 comments

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Sunday, July 23, 2006

Sunday afternoon surfing....

I know better than to participate in this activity. Every once in a while, though, I need to have a reminder on why Sunday afternoon TV is so awful!

I'm watching this show called Tiara Girls. While I understand the whole appeal of reality television, what I'm seeing is just horrifying! This episode is about a 16 year old girl in Michigan. The first ten minutes of this show has been about her mother picking apart every detail of her looks. Her lips are too small when she smiles. Her waist is too big. "Skinny girls don't eat donuts." And is there any wonder that this young lady has self-image issues?

This young lady is BEAUTIFUL! I can't believe the pressure her mother and pageant coach are putting on her. Her mother just said how disappointed she is that the daughter refused liposuction. Puh-lease!

OK. I have to change the channel now..... This just has my stomach churning!

Posted by WistfulWench :: 5:21 PM :: 2 comments

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Wednesday, July 19, 2006

back, tired and cranky....

Well, I am back. But I'm tired and cranky today....

The trip to see the family was good, surprisingly enough! No fights. No disagreements. My brother and I actually remained civil the whole time. Of course, the fact that we had to spend less than 48 hours in the same vicinity probably helped.

Yesterday was one LONG day. It started at 6am (Central time) with coffee on the porch with Mom. We got the house straightened, everything packed, then off to the VA for Dad to have blood drawn. Lunch after that and then driving the rest of the way to Tulsa. (Since Mom and Dad live in the boonies, you always have to give extra time to get to the airport. It's 1 1/2 hours away IF there's no construction going on.)

Arrival at the airport is fine. Checking in goes quickly. I send Mom and Dad off since they have quite a drive in front of them and I want them out of Tulsa before the traffic starts in. At 4:30, they announce that the 5:30 departure has been pushed back an hour due to weather in Newark. Not a problem, as I have a good book and my bottle of water. We board and leave at 6:30, so everyone on the plane thinks we're in good shape. A little more than four hours later, we land and hear "Welcome to Pittsburgh" coming over the speaker. Pittsburgh? How in the world did that happen?

Well, it went something like this.... We DID go to Newark. However, due to the weather (again) there were too many planes in a holding pattern and we got sent to Pittsburgh to get us out of the way. While there was a bit of grumbling, we all accepted that and about 45 minutes later, the plane took off again. Once again, we begin circling over Newark. Guess what? We can't land this time either. So we get sent to Allentown. This is where the fun begins. The flight crew is almost at their maximum time, so Allentown has 30 minutes to get us refueled and back off the runway. Also, there are several passengers from Montreal who got stranded and need to get to Newark. I don't think I've ever seen people move so fast. They had us refueled, luggage loaded and 15 passengers on board in 20 minutes. Back to Newark....

The third time was a charm. We got to land! Of course, it was only 5 hours later than originally scheduled. I finally got home a little after 4am this morning. After reading Spring's blog, though, I can see why we kept getting diverted.

after the storm

Needless to say, I'm tired, I'm cranky, and I'm not going to get everything done that needed to be done today.


I really think I need to take more of my vacations at home.

Posted by WistfulWench :: 10:39 AM :: 6 comments

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Wednesday, July 12, 2006

why does murphy's law kick in like that?

Why is it that things always go nuts at work when you're planning on being away for a few days? It never fails that projects "magically" show up and can't wait until you get back....

Why is it that Wall Street thinks mid-year numbers are so important?


It's been one of those weeks.... I can't WAIT to get away! (Even if I'm going to spend time in the boonies with the family!)

Posted by WistfulWench :: 4:47 PM :: 4 comments

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Saturday, July 08, 2006

did you know?

Did you know that your blog "over there" can have excerpts posted over here?

I did a search on my handle (in the search all blogs at the top of my page) and happened to stumble onto this:


Am I the last person to have learned this? :D

Even worse, I just scrolled to the bottom of the page and see some pics that claim some people are from the Flushing area. Since I recognize a couple of them, I know they aren't! Is it legal for them to use someone's picture like this?

Posted by WistfulWench :: 8:42 AM :: 11 comments

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Friday, July 07, 2006

he states it so well....

I recently stumbled across the blog of English Gentleman. In reading through some of his older postings, this one just explained, so much better than I have been able to, the way a butt plug makes me feel.


This paragraph especially speaks to me:

"It’s paradoxical that being penetrated by a plug gives the submissive a feeling of being opened up. Rather than a sense that her anus is filled, and therefore blocked, it makes her aware of how available she is, both physically and emotionally. The plug helps bring her to a state of mind where the last vestiges of resistance, all thoughts of closing herself, of keeping anything in, have been extinguished. "

Yes, it is a reminder that there is nothing about my body that belongs to me. It is his to use as he wishes. When he uses the butt plug, or instructs me to use it in preparation for him, I cannot be anything but submissive. That physical reminder will NOT let me forget my place and his ownership of me.

Thank you, English Gentleman, for writing such a beautiful and descriptive post! You've put words to something I've tried many times to convey.

Posted by WistfulWench :: 3:07 PM :: 3 comments

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Tuesday, July 04, 2006

just couldn't resist....

OK, guys! How many of you reflexively covered your crotches when you saw this one?

Posted by WistfulWench :: 2:27 PM :: 12 comments

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Monday, July 03, 2006

an excerpt from the "other" journal....

As you opened your bag to check what was there, I started to get nervous and excited, all at the same time. What would you pull out? when you knotted the string on my nipple, I could tell from the smile on your face that you had a plan I might not like. As you pulled it around my neck and knotted it around my other nipple, the pressure was unbelievable. Not really painful at first, but not comfortable. The look on your face said it all. You seemed to be enjoying it tremendously, especially as I was squirming from the pressure and twinges of pain as you pulled on it.

When you removed it, I was happy but sorry. I was glad to have the pain and pressure come to a halt, but wanted to keep that smile on your face. The next thing out of the bag was your flogger. The few swipes across my breasts had some sting to them, but no real pain. Again, the smile on your face thrilled me. It's almost as if THAT smile is mine and mine alone. Something you would never share with another. Something only I do for you....

Next, you put the collar on me and told me how well it suited me. I can only hope you find pride in your ownership when you see it on me. I think you must, as you had me leave it on when we went to get dinner....

...Having to strip is always hard, especially when I know you are staying fully dressed. I always wonder what you see and think of when you are inspecting me. Do you see my flaws and accept them? Or do you see something good and positive....

...How I wish I had a recorder in my head to record every minute with you. Writing it down like this means I'm glossing over so many moments that hold such meaning to me. The moment you put the collar on me. The way you made it so snug. The feel of your hands as they touched me once it was on. The sound of your voice. The memories become a kaleidoscope, mixed in together, flashes and pieces blended in. The sensations become blurred, no begin and end points....

....Why do I do this? Slide from total comfort in our relationship to feeling lost? Where does it come from? Why can't I hold on to those moments where I feel so loved and cherished....

....Silly, isn't it? How good it feels just to be sitting beside you watching TV. There's such a comfortable feeling, like everything is right in the world. Easy. Relaxed. Hearing you laugh. Seeing your smile as I get you a drink. Loving that twinkle in your eye as you tease me. I want moments like this to last forever....

Posted by WistfulWench :: 9:44 AM :: 7 comments

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Sunday, July 02, 2006

he who dies with the most toys...

...is still dead.

I just read that and thought it was a good point to share!

Posted by WistfulWench :: 4:51 PM :: 5 comments

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Saturday, July 01, 2006

can cats have PMS?

It may sound like a silly question, but that's all I can think of to explain Smooches' behavior the last few days....

She's normally not one to spend a lot of time on my lap or looking for attention. In fact, she's usually happiest when she's in the same room with me, but off to the side left alone. Yes, she takes her few minutes of lap time every morning, but that's usually it for the day.

These last few days, though, she's been spending a lot of time with me. If I'm on the couch, she crawls up into my lap. While I'm at the computer, she pesters me until I let her up. And she's not happy with Smokey for some reason. Each time he's tried to play with her the last couple of days, she's hissed at him and knocked him up side his head. The norm is that she lets him chase her around the apartment for a bit and then wrestles with him.

It makes me wonder if she's PMSing....

Posted by WistfulWench :: 6:38 AM :: 5 comments

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the second interview....

First of all, I just want to say that I HATE telephone interviews! It's so difficult to figure out how your words are being taken when you can't see someone's body language.... Of course, I actually made that statement yesterday! (Hey! I think I've warned everyone that some words come out of my mouth without pausing to think about the advisability, haven't I?) Fortunately, she laughed and told me that she was smiling!

All in all, though, I think it went well. Of course, when I initially hung up the phone, I felt like it had gone VERY well. As is my habit, though, I started analyzing everything that was said and looking for nuances that would give me a better idea of where I stand.... Rather than letting myself dwell on the things I think I bobbled, I'm focusing on some of her closing comments. "I will be contacting you next Friday or the following Monday to make arrangements for the next step. Of course, I need to confer with ***** to see when we can schedule the face-to-face interviews."

I'm going to think positive thoughts....

Posted by WistfulWench :: 6:17 AM :: 4 comments

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