A Cry in the Dark

Monday, June 18, 2007

he gave me goosebumps....

I've tried to post this video three or four times and it keeps failing..... *sigh*

Remember this guy's name. Paul Potts. When I heard him yesterday, it gave me goosebumps.

Paul Potts sings Nessun Dorma

Posted by WistfulWench :: 3:47 AM :: 4 comments

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Tuesday, June 12, 2007

what motivates you more?

When you are in need of motivation, what is the better prod? Threat of punishment or promise of pleasure?

He made a comment the other day that has this question running around in my head. I’m not certain which really works better for me. I think it is pleasure, because I tend to punish myself much harder (emotionally and mentally) than anyone else ever has.

What motivates you more? Why?

Posted by WistfulWench :: 3:07 PM :: 6 comments

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Friday, June 08, 2007

i outed myself....

OK. I sometimes DO wonder why I feel so compelled to bare everything. I guess it’s because I feel like I’m hiding things, or being dishonest in some way, if I don’t....

I told Him that I have two blogs. He had read the one on ALT before contacting me. (Just goes to show you that some people DO read the profiles!) But I felt obligated to tell him about my other one as well.

Of course, I also had to give all the disclaimers....

Just because I wrote something and posted it doesn’t mean I feel that way all the time. It’s the “thought of the moment” in most cases....

It’s not that I won’t listen to your opinions on certain topics. I just like to have multiple perspectives on some things so I am comfortable with my own point of view.

I sometimes write things completely the opposite of my own view as an attempt to have better understanding of that perspective.


I have a big mouth....

Posted by WistfulWench :: 8:37 AM :: 3 comments

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Wednesday, June 06, 2007

where does time go when you're not looking?

I didn't realize, until today, that I haven't been back to my blog for quite a while. I'm so sorry about that! I have thought of several things to write about, but haven't finished a single one of those thoughts....

(What else is new?)

Yes, I'm doing well. Last month was a blur.... Struggling through the final weeks of my marketing class, a deepening relationship with a new Dominant, going to Oklahoma to spend a week with my family, and the (seemingly required) work issues that insist on popping up.

I think I've hesitated to post some of what has been going on in my head as I suspect my ex-Master still reads my blogs. The last thing in the world I want is for him to feel as though I'm rubbing salt into his wounds. The fact that our relationship ended is just that. A fact. It's no one's fault. There's no blame to be attached to either of us. It just couldn't BE any longer. While I'm still sad about it, I also have turned my face and thoughts to the wonderful new opportunity that has crossed my path.

What is it they say? Love finds you when you least expect it? While this is not (yet) the same depth of emotion I had previously, I do have to admit that I am sliding down that slope again. The dialogue in my head confuses me and makes me anxious. Thank goodness I have friends who are willing to listen to it and understand! I can't thank you enough for being there for me and listening to me ramble on (and on and on and on!) about my fears. Thank you for reminding me to live in THIS moment. And thank you for helping me find the courage to let it all go. Let go of the past. Let go of the fear. Let go of the control I think I have to have right now.

Posted by WistfulWench :: 5:08 PM :: 6 comments

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