A Cry in the Dark

Saturday, September 02, 2006

a lesson in discipline.....

Today has been a difficult day. It has opened my mind to so many possibilities that I am feeling a bit overwhelmed.

As we frequently do, we were chatting about the plans for today while drinking coffee. When I mentioned I had an appointment at the salon, he initially seemed to pay no attention to that fact. After all, it was nothing different or special, right?

Before signing off, he gave me instructions that had my jaw dropping. I was to insert the small butt plug and leave it in until given permission to take it out. He knew I was leaving the house, but didn’t care. My discomfort was of no consideration. Doing as he said was all that was important.

With great trepidation, I followed the instructions. As I walked to my car, my gut was churning. The pressure while sitting and driving only increased my awareness of how slutty my behavior was. I felt as though I had a bright red “S” tattooed on my forehead or a sign flashing above me. As I sat in the salon, surrounded by women chatting about their lives, I was amazed that no one stared or pointed their fingers at me. The sensations were incredible.... I am certain I was oozing pheromones of sexuality, depravity, and wanton abandonment. Sitting there, strange thoughts flashed through my mind. Things I’ve wondered about, but always pushed away. Thinking of how it would feel to have him cram his fist into my pussy. Wondering what it would feel like to have him hold my arms pulled behind my back, chest thrust out, inviting others to fondle, pull, pinch, and torture my tits. Thinking about having all my holes filled at the same time, being a play toy for multiple masters. As I fought to sit still, I reminded myself to be grateful that it was the small plug I was told to insert. My underpants soon became saturated with the liquid leaking from my pussy. My nipples were hard the whole time the plug was in. I’m still struggling to find words to describe the mixed feelings of humiliation, depravity, submissiveness, sensuality and others I can’t even name....

He has been using the anal plug more frequently of late. While I adore the reminder of his control of me, his ownership of every bit of me, today leaves me wondering what is in the future. I feel unsettled and floaty at the moment. Today is something I could never have seen myself doing. Right now, though, I want more, more, more! A part of me is afraid to vocalize that, as I know he will keep it in mind and use it to push me further. The other part of me has to admit to the truth.

Posted by WistfulWench :: 1:50 PM :: 2 comments