A Cry in the Dark

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

“why” is a dirty word and how blogging a question can bring enlightening answers....

In my earlier post today, I asked about “Why” and if it was such a bad thing. The comment by his fucktoy brought so much into focus for me.

Why is a negative response, loosely translating to "i don't believe you, prove it" or "i'm procrastinating"

I am required to ask this question at work in everything I do. I’m expected to understand every detail fully. This has crept over into my relationship and I didn’t even realize what I was doing. After reading this portion of her comment, I understand how he sees my asking as disrespectful or disobedient.

I had also lost sight of the fact that he does NOTHING to hinder or hurt me. He holds my best interests at heart in all things. By not complying, I am indicating that I don’t trust him. I have allowed my own fears (and habit) to put a wall there that I did not intend.

There will not always be an answer or reason given. In this test of loyalty and obedience, I have failed miserably. My humblest apologies are offered, sweetest Master. Please know it was never my intention to bring harm to our relationship.

Posted by WistfulWench :: 6:17 PM :: 2 comments