A Cry in the Dark

Sunday, September 24, 2006

what good is love without passion?

I had a long talk with a friend the other night. This is someone I’ve always been a bit envious of. Not in a bad way! It just seemed as though she had it all. A beautiful house, nice car, enough money to do what she wanted when she wanted, a loving husband, great looks and personality plus. Our talk confirmed some things I had thought, but never voiced to her.

She loves her husband. And he loves her. There has never been any question of that, and there never will be. This love, though, has no passion. For her, he was safety. The previous marriage almost destroyed who she was. Her ex kept reaching out to her after the divorce, trying to reel her in again. She really struggled to survive, but it seemed he held all the cards. When she met her current spouse, he quickly threw a mantle of protection over her. No longer was she forced to cave into the demands of the ex. He lost his power over her and her life. The new man in her life offered her a safety she had never known. From this grew a love and respect that has been cherished by both of them.

The lack of passion didn’t bother either of them for many years. Honestly, I don’t think it bothers him at all. She has been struggling with it for a while, though. There is no way she would ever do anything to hurt him, but she is feeling empty in her life. All her energy gets channeled into the various projects she works on. The gratification of achievement is not enough. Her successes leave her lost. And most people will never know, because she won’t allow her husband to feel any hurt.

Our conversation has really stuck in my mind. What good is love without passion? Yes, it’s wonderful to know that you mean so much to someone. But how do you find joy when the relationship leaves you feeling so tepid? Where do you find the zest to continue on, to keep trying?

I used to envy this friend for the life it looked like she had. Now, my heart goes out to her. I may not have all the things she does. But I do have passion in my life. And that’s something I won’t give up.

Posted by WistfulWench :: 11:39 AM :: 3 comments