A Cry in the Dark

Thursday, April 13, 2006

shifting thoughts....

I’ve always had a bit of a problem with the name “slut”.  Where I grew up, it was one of the worst insults you could say to a woman.  It was even worse than calling her a cunt.  The connotation was that she was easy, would drop her pants for any guy, no morals, no concern for her reputation.  Yeah, reputation was important in my home town.  After all, everyone knew everyone else.  If they didn’t know your business, they’d make it up.  We were all related in some manner.  I knew who my seventh cousins were, for goodness sake!

Somehow, over the last couple of months, he has brought this term to a different light.  I appreciate him calling me his little slut.  It’s still difficult for me to say, but hearing it come from his lips is some type of accolade.  Why is that?  How did this happen?  Where did the definition of the term change in my mind?

I think it now means that I will do anything to please him, regardless of society’s definitions of good and bad.  It’s an award of some type.  I’ve become so depraved that I don’t care what others think of my sexuality, as long as he is happy with my actions.  Strange....

So many perspectives have changed.  It makes me wonder who I will be, how I will see things and what I will think a year from now.  Change is inevitable, I know.  Some changes, though, are stranger than I could ever have imagined.

Posted by WistfulWench :: 7:04 PM :: 3 comments