A Cry in the Dark

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

some experiences with humiliation....

You know, humiliation used to be a hard limit for me.  My ex used to take things that were very personal (especially my self-image issues) and use them to hurt me, even if other people were around.  It was so bad, I got to the point of hiding in my room whenever anyone would come over.  I didn’t want to hear what he would say to them about me.  I couldn’t try to laugh it away.  It was much to painful....

The first dominant I met “over there” was heavily into humiliation.  He told me, in no uncertain terms, that he would verbally humiliate me on a regular basis.  Every time I told him that that was a hard limit for me, he would make a comment about how I wasn’t a “real” submissive if I had limits.  Fortunately, I realized VERY quickly that this guy and I did not belong together and moved on.

My recent experiences with humiliation have been very different, though.  At no time has he used anything personal against me.  Instead, he has objectified me and required me to act in a manner that stripped away who I am.  Interestingly enough, I have found myself wanting to do this more often.  I think it’s because of how he’s handled the situation.  Nothing is done that reinforces negative thoughts.  Rather, the actions he requires strip me of my persona and force me to respond in a very limited manner.  It is humiliating on various levels, primarily mental.  When I perform in the required manner, his approval and appreciation is obvious.  Rather than being something that is emotionally painful, humiliation on his terms is something that is pleasurable....

I sometimes wonder how many limits he plans to remove....

Posted by WistfulWench :: 6:20 PM :: 9 comments