A Cry in the Dark

Thursday, February 01, 2007

nope.... nope..... nope.....

I start to write, then throw it away. I can't say that. It wouldn't be right.

I'm feeling so out of sorts lately, and I don't know why. Well, I do know why, but there's nothing to be done about it. OK. There are things that can be done about it, but it's just not going to happen. (Do I have you as confused yet as I'm feeling?)

I know it's just the timing. The time of year. His work schedule. My work schedule. My school schedule. His kids. It's timing. All about the timing.

I hate it that I need him so much. But I love needing him. (And I think he appreciates it most of the time....) I hate how blah my life feels when he's not in it. But he is in it, just not as much as I would like. Then again, he's never been able to be in my life as much as I'd like. So why am I struggling so much with this now?

It almost feels as though the lack of work stress means a void has been created that insists on finding something to fill it. I haven't felt well all week and I'm still not sleeping well at night. And I know that is feeding this dissatisfaction I'm feeling. There's really nothing wrong, but it's all wrong.

*sigh*

Maybe it's just the weather....

Posted by WistfulWench :: 4:43 PM :: 6 comments